The good news is that even though many couples who seek legal advice on divorce regard this as the final step to separation, this is often not the case.
In my experience, a surprisingly high number of those spouses who seek legal advice regarding commencing divorce proceedings, manage to work out their differences and avoid the whole painful process. So don't be afraid to seek advice on a divorce. It doesn't mean that a divorce will eventuate and it may work as a catalyst for you and your spouse to get back into communication with each other and really sort out any marital difficulties that you may be having.
However, for those who really feel it is time to take the plunge, I can offer advice on how to reduce the trauma of divorce.
Here is some general advice on the subject of divorce:
·As the popular saying goes; it takes two to tango. It also takes two to create a breakdown in a marriage, so one party shouldn't burden themselves with all the guilt.
· Don't use children as pawns or to score points off each other. In the long term you are far more likely to damage your own relationship with your children than your ex's.
· Use a family law attorney who can offer you a choice of different processes to help you resolve your dispute. Only some cases are ultimately resolved by contested court proceedings. You may be interested in mediation whereby the two of you work with a mediator to reach a mutually acceptable solution to all your issues, thus reducing the amount of money you have to spend on separate attorneys.
· You may want to talk to an attorney trained in the practice of collaborative law. This is a relatively new way of dealing with family disputes in which all negotiations are done in four way meetings of both parties and their attorneys.
· Choose your attorney carefully. Going for the cheapest deal may not be the best course of action in the long run. Make sure your attorney is someone you can work with and can fully trust.
· Be prepared to compromise. Sorting out arrangements for finances, housing and children can be very expensive. It is never, ever, worth arguing over the TV; you will pay more in the costs of so doing than it will cost you to buy a new one.
· However raw you are feeling, try and take the drama out of divorce and act with dignity. If you do this, you are far more likely to emerge from it feeling positive rather than broken.
Every case is different, if you have further questions, I offer a free initial consultation where I can go over your options in confidence.