As divorce lawyers, we see a lot of people through some of the roughest times in their lives. It’s not that marriages can’t end amicably, but for many, their lives are about to undergo a complete transformation, and it’s something they have a hard time dealing with.
That’s why this article from the Wall Street Journal caught our eye. It lays out three tips we agree with that will help you at least get a good head start on trying to form your own life post-divorce.
Have a Job. We cannot stress this one enough. If you’ve been a stay-at-home spouse, it’s time for you to dust off that resume and start sending it out. This not only makes you self-dependant, but also less prone to being left out in the cold if your divorce doesn’t give you the settlement you need. And even if it did, you’re going to need to supplement it to have a standard of living anywhere near what you’re used to.
Assemble a Support Team. While we, as divorce lawyers, are part of your team in pursuing your best interests, you’re not the end all be all. Friends and family are great to talk to, but they also may not be enough. It might be time, in this case, to go visit a therapist if you’re not able to get the support you need from your team. Divorce isn’t the end of the world, and these people remind you of that every day.
Approach Your Divorce Amicably. This is a key factor in how well you’ll cope post-divorce. Nobody wants a contentious divorce, not even if you have your future ex-spouse. Sometimes that’s not an option because positions are so far apart there’s no way to reconcile them, or perhaps because there’s a history of domestic violence or mental illness or substance abuse or serious breaches of trust, all of which can make good faith negotiation inappropriate or impossible.
However, if you can work things out with your spouse by yourselves, with the help of a mediator, with a collaborative divorce where the parties and their lawyers agree not to litigate or negotiation between lawyers, do it. It’s time for you to just stand up for yourself and make a clean break. Don’t let your future hang in the balance of the man in the black robe.
Three Ways to Protect Yourself in a Divorce (WSJ.com)
Image courtesy of Flickr user CharlotWest.