Making post-divorce relationships with common friends work
Once a divorce is finalized, and the tangible goods have been divided and the custody days have been divided, it's time to go on with your life. Go take that vacation you'd promised yourself, of try that out-of-the-way brunch place your ex never wanted to go to. It's at this point you realize the issue that seemingly pops-up out of nowhere: which friends can I call?
While many couples bring previous friends into the relationship, there are plenty of pals that are met as a couple at school get-togethers or community barbeques. As your married life progressed, so did your connection and bond with these new people. However, when you and your spouse divorced, it may have a caused a rift among your pack that may need fixing before continuing to enjoy their company. Here are three ways to make sure the awkwardness doesn't overwhelm them.
Hang out with one couple at a time For your first night out, pick a couple that you always felt more comfortable with and have a good time! If you choose too many, an awkward group dynamic may form that resembles an intervention than a nice night out with friends.
Keep your ex in the rearview mirror The situation is awkward enough when you and your couples friends sit down for dinner for the first time post-divorce. Don't make more so with bad talk about your formerly significant other. It puts your friends in a bad position, and depending how far you do down that hole, also may put them in an unenviable position to defend him. Remember, look forward, not back.
Make your dates about more than just talking Going to the museum or movies, taking a long hike or trip to the beach – these are just one of many options that might work better than sitting in a dark restaurant talking about "how you're feeling." Show them, don't tell them, that you are feeling better by showing how you're able to easily climb that mountain or discuss a specific art movement.