Just like younger children, their worlds can get rocked, too.
We've covered the world of divorce and children before. But what about when those kids are… not so little? As the number of divorces rises amongst people fifty and over (it's doubled since 1990, according to the AARP), there is a segment in this new expanding world that may need explanation – adult children. Here are some tips to help you smoothly explain why their mom and dad won't be together soon.
Try to understand what they are feeling It may seem strange that people old enough to drink should have to have their hand held for anything anymore, but you have to remember that one of their bedrocks is now gone. Whether they're nine or 29, the only difference is now they can articulate it. So ask them about it and talk.
Remember their boundaries You're going through a difficult time, so you'll be quick to pick up the phone and call one of them. Stop. Not only may they be grieving too, but they have their own life now. Whether it's their own family, or a job, remember they must navigate their own day-to-day issues, as well. Calling them four times a day, or sending endless emails, could make you easier to dismiss down the road.
Do not speak ill to them about your soon-to-be ex-spouse Just because they're of or past their drinking age doesn't mean you can just spout out all your issues to your adult children. Don't make them a pawn in your divorce game, and endanger losing their trust and ear for in the future.
Remind them that your love is still there Just as young children do, there is a fear among adult children that they might be at fault for the divorce. In 99% of divorces, that isn't the case. So remind them that you still love them, as does your ex-spouse. IT will go a long way to smoothing things over.