In the arena of divorce, it is better to let cooler heads prevail
There's really no way to get around the fact that a divorce is, by definition, a traumatic experience. The breaking up of a relationship once thought to be perfect (at least at some point, and in some capacity) can carry a heavy burden on those going through it. However, while the situation is bad, there is something that always arises that makes the situation worse and can be avoided, or at least quelled, from the get-go: arguing.
Now, divorce is a conflict, plain and simple. But the idea of cooler heads prevailing isn't only for a lawyer like me to keep both sides talking. It is the best way to make a compromise come about because rarely does a fair negotiation come as the result of two people arguing and yelling. The best way for me to do that is explain how to make perspective the key to making the best out a bad situation.
When you are arguing about anything with anyone, you are only doing harm to your stake in the matter. The person you're yelling at is too busy trying to dig his or her heels in or dodging the barbs you're sending their way to try to listen to your side. Before you begin your assault, try thinking about how you would react if someone would try shove their point of view down your throat. It wouldn't be very pleasant—or conducive to settling business—now would it?
Also, from the moment the divorce button has been pushed in your relationship, your mind has been frozen about what you want or think you deserve from the end game. You know what? Your soon-to-be-ex-partner thinks the same way. Screaming and yelling about finances and the kids isn't going to break them out of that. So why not talk calmly and rationally about the situation and see if there is any leeway that can be had on either end. Like I said earlier, this is a negotiation, but besides money, many memories are what's at stake. There's no need to make a bad situation carry even more dire consequences that is already will.