What better way to start a new chapter in your life than ending the previous one
There many divorced people in America. The Pew Research Center calculates it at 14 percent of the population older than 18. I, of course, have seen many divorces in my time as a lawyer. Some end nicely, some not. However, what I haven't seen a lot of is the divorced taking their situation into their own hands and owning it.
I'm talking about the people who have been metaphorically punched in the stomach and talk about how they can't go on. They end up carrying a grudge or holding it in, causing a hole in their hearts that doesn't get fixed. My advice is always the same: you can go on, you just have to figure out the best point to start your journey. A good place is a divorce ceremony.
There are many stories of couples deciding to make a ritual out of their last moments as man and wife. One couple walked 2,000 miles, each from one end of the Great Wall of China to the middle, to say goodbye. While it doesn't have to be that extreme, it does need to be significant enough to mark a moment in your life when you realized that life goes on. A party with friends. A trip alone to a destination your ex never wanted to go to. A ceremony with your ex that serves as a sort of bizzaro-wedding: you invite your friends to show how you both are walking away from this as a whole person. And if you're still friends with your ex afterwards, so much for the better.
Of course the most important part is your self-worth. Being married to someone is to give yourself up to the idea of being half of a couple. Getting divorced releases you from the bond in the eyes of the law, but it's been so long since you've seen "you" as independent that you need to fill that void and created a whole person again. Why not celebrate it. You've got whole life to live again.