The road toward divorce is filled with landmines that could derail your path to happiness. The key is to find the easiest route to take, and that is part of our job as your GPS to wade through the particulars of the court system. Over on the Huffington Post, Debbie Martinez — who is also known as the Divorce Whisperer — gave readers a list of the largest landmines, and we've chosen our top nuggets from her list.
Not dissecting your reasons for wanting out. Getting out of a relationship that spans years or decades isn't a decision you want to make lightly. You must ask yourself (and talk to those closest to you) the important questions. Like Martinez says: "[A]sk yourself, "Is this my state of mind or the reality of my marriage?" By looking inward, you might see that divorce is not the solution to your problems and that the marriage is not the only thing that is preventing you from being "happy".
Not getting all your ducks in a row before telling your spouse you want out. Once you've decided you want to go forward with your divorce, you need to collect all your potential assets and asses your situation before coming forward and asking. This includes collecting an inventory of household items, financial records, credit report, along with establishing a separate checking account and putting feelers out in terms of future employment.
Not meeting with a financial planner before mediation. There are a lot of moving parts in a marriage, with few cogs bigger than the financial angle. Meeting with a financial planner before dividing up your assets will give you a solid plan for dealing with things like taxes and the future. There's no use in fighting for the house if you can't afford its maintenance on your salary. Use this time to decide what to fight for.
The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Considering a Divorce (Huffington Post)