There are thousands of reasons why couples get divorced. The obviously
vary — no two couples are exactly alike. But there are some reasons
that we see quite often walk through our doors accompanied by one of the
future ex-spouses.
Reading Brittany Wong’s story in the Huffington Post about the six
most common reasons why people get divorced got us thinking about those
common to us. So we chose three of her common reasons and gave our spin on them.
“You take me for granted.” This reason might be one of the most common we’ve heard. It’s
usually heard from couples that’ve been married a bit longer and
are in a situation where complacency takes hold of the relationship.
"It's supposed to happen to some degree; it's a sign that
you're comfortable enough to let your guard down," San Francisco-based
marriage therapist Susan Pease Gadoua tells HuffPo. "But it can sometimes
be misconstrued by your significant other as you not caring as much about
him or her."
“You've checked out of our marriage.” The cousin of the above, but instead of ignoring the spouse, the accused
is ignoring the relationship outright. Forgetting holidays or anniversaries,
or spending too much time away from the home are two indicators that a
spouse has checked out.
"When spouses become emotionally and physically disengaged, they can
start to question their love for each other and wonder, 'What are
we all about?' At its worst, disengagement can make it feel like you
are participating in something you no longer believe in," Alexandra
H. Solomon, a clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern
University, told the Huffington Post.
“We aren't communicating anymore.” One of the main relationship killers — the inability to hear each
other. We’re not talking about audibly, but taking the time to take
the other spouses’ fears and concerns, hopes and dreams, and making
their spouses’ plans a part of theirs.
"The couple stops being transparent, starts making assumptions and
starts hiding things, which ultimately leads to anger and mistrust,"
according to BetterHelp psychologist Nikki Martinez. "When communication
breaks down, and each person thinks it is beyond repair, they will often
believe that divorce is the only option."
For more:
6 Arguments All Couples Have Before They Divorce (HuffPo)
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