Demetria Graves | June 23, 2025 | Blog
Navigating child custody issues and co-parenting is challenging enough without trying to do so with a narcissistic ex-partner. When a narcissist is extroverted and socially adept, people may believe them without digging too deep into the situation.
Narcissism and child custody can cause numerous problems for a parent and their children. Learning how to deal with a narcissistic parent in Pasadena begins with understanding what drives a narcissistic parent to act the way they do.
What Is a Narcissist?
One estimate states that up to six percent of the population in the United States has narcissistic personality disorder at some point in their lives. Narcissism is often characterized by a person having a grandiose sense of self-worth.
Narcissists were thought to be extroverted, self-confident, and captivating. They have a sense of entitlement and envy those who have what they believe they should have. However, new information sheds more light on narcissism. Narcissists may be self-loathing, socially isolated, and unable to maintain steady employment.
They may have other disorders, including depression. Instead of being “full of themselves,” a narcissist may have low self-esteem. Evaluations by clinicians and studies support the idea that narcissists may fluctuate between the two states. Therefore, the traditional definition of narcissism may not always apply. You could be dealing with a narcissistic parent, but think of them as a narcissist.
The thing that narcissists display, regardless of the other characteristics, is an extreme preoccupation with themselves. They often lack empathy and use manipulation to achieve their desires. Unfortunately, these behaviors can be very harmful to children caught in the middle of a divorce or custody battle.
Harmful Tactics Narcissistic Parents May Use in Child Custody Cases in Pasadena, CA
A narcissist does not tolerate losing. They see almost everything as a game or battle. Therefore, they must “win” a custody case at all costs. A narcissistic parent may use several harmful tactics to give themselves a perceived advantage in a custody case, including:
Parental Alienation
Narcissistic parents often use their children as pawns. They may want to hurt the other parent or gain an advantage in a custody case. They often manipulate children by lying to them about the other parent. For example, they may tell the child they are going to do something fun for the weekend, then cancel the trip by saying the other parent will not let them attend.
It is crucial to have open and honest communication with your children. Encourage them to express their feelings by letting them know you will not become angry or feel hurt. You may want to consider family counseling if you believe your child’s other parent is working to turn your children against you.
Exaggerating Their Role as a Parent
A narcissist may lie to the court and others to paint themselves in a different light. They may claim they have a close relationship with their children and are active participants in their children’s lives. You can fight this tactic by keeping detailed records of interactions between your ex and your children. When your ex misses visitation, appointments, and events, note their absence in the log, including whether they gave an excuse for being absent.
Fabricating Evidence
Narcissists are masters at twisting facts and taking events out of context. They may even introduce false evidence to support their claims. Unfortunately, narcissists may convince others to lie for them. Keep detailed notes and records to support your side of the story.
A narcissistic parent may gaslight the other parent or the children. They deny being at fault and distort reality to confuse a child. They twist the story to paint the other parent as the villain and guilt-trip the child into siding with them.
Emotional Blackmail
A narcissist may play with a child’s emotions to get them to feel sorry for them. They may use obligation and guilt to control the child and manipulate their feelings toward the other parent. The parent may withhold love and approval if the child does not side with them.
Can a Parent Lose Custody for Displaying Narcissistic Behavior?
Being a narcissist does not automatically result in losing custody, even if a parent is diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. The judge will examine how a parent’s behavior impacts their children.
Narcissistic behavior can negatively impact a child and result in low self-esteem and trust issues. A child may develop mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and PTSD. If you can prove that your child’s other parent is causing them harm, the judge may award you sole custody and restrict visitation.
However, proving a parent’s narcissism is harming your children requires substantial proof.
A Family Lawyer Can Help
If you are battling a narcissistic parent, it helps to have an experienced Pasadena child custody lawyer on your side. Your attorney can help you gather evidence proving that the actions of a narcissistic parent are harming your children.
Reach out to The Graves Law Firm for help today. We offer a free consultation with a family lawyer and will be happy to assist you.
The Graves Law Firm Pasadena
1055 E Colorado Blvd #500a, Pasadena, CA 91101
(626) 365-1037
Open 24 hrs.